Saturday, December 22, 2007

Why I need family


This time of year is probably painful for a lot of people. I must admit, we live in a world full of brokenness. Broken promises, broken relationships, and broken dreams. For many, the word "family" probably solicits a reaction much akin to listening to people arguing over sky lotting rules, or a Aunt Helga's 40-weight fruitcake.
Our memory is strong, unfortunately much more so for the things that have gone wrong than right. It's a dreadful fact, proven with statistical solemnity. When no other than Jesus Christ healed ten lepers, only two returned to give thanks...the other eight still had it locked down on how they were sick and not how they got healed.
So....i totally understand when there is fear, distrust, misgiving, and general mockery about the family and what it should be. So many of us come from a history of hurt, especially from those around us who "should" understand. Yes, a father "should" know to provide for and protect his family and not abuse them. Yes a mother "should" know to teach and nurture her children, and put them before her own agenda and needs. It hurts way more from those who "should" know better...it really does... makes you want to go out and go nuts, watch out for number one, indulge yourself in every possible hedonism that you hope might drown out the pain....and the fear that we really are alone in this world. Heck, that's why a lot of us play this darn game >.< *raises hand
The thing that i think about however, is that little nagging moogle reminding me the simple fact that i need to give him more imperial bronze pieces...
...wait sorry
... no that the bottom line is that i need people. There, i said it lol.

I NEED PEOPLE!!!!

No matter how much i want to believe that i can do without them, time and time again the history shows that, without the support, input, and guidance of others... i fail. I mean.... i fail... big time. I'm not too proud to admit it. There are things i have been struggling to overcome for YEARS on my own. I'm like Barry in 'the Bee Movie' trying to get out of that closed window: " This time! this time! this time! this time! this time!" =/
*pant *pant... ow

It's amazing how no matter how hard i try, there is no way i can see everything, no way i can cover all my bases, no way that i can remember everything that i'm supposed to do in a day... not to mention in my life. I am so imperfect, i can see defeat and deftly snatch it out of the jaws of victory.
I do believe there is one difference between my life and insanity. I know because i know... that i need help, (i need cookies also but that's a different story) and i ask for it. I welcome it, i crave it. I may not always understand the help that comes my way. I might not always like (read: hardly) when i'm shown to be in the wrong. (ok... NEVER) but i know i can't live without it.
So appreciate those close to you this time of year. I really do believe that our lives are filled with doors...doors to our future, doors to our past, doors to blessing... and those in our family are holding many of those keys... Make a choice to keep it fresh, keep it humble, and keep it thankful. You never know, the least likely person could speak a well-timed and seasoned word into your life, and release a world of awesomeness. It could be that strung-out, drunk lush aunt you try to avoid at parties, it could be that father figure who you see once a decade. It could even be that irritating 'lil snot that calls themselves your brother or sister. Be open, you'll be surprised...
...and you might get those cookies sooner than you think...

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